Grandpa's Watch...

Grandpa's Watch...

This morn just before heading off for work, Grandpa, seated in his beloved rocking chair, asked me to come over to him.

I went over and Grandpa gingerly placed his watch in my hands and told me to take his watch.

I refused to take the watch and pushed it back towards his old wrinkled hands.

Grandpa said: "Whats the point of me wearing a watch when I cant even see the dial n read the time?"

Those words pierced my heart and made me realise that Grandpa's eye sights have  deteriorated to the point where he cant even see his watch.

I took the watch and kept it inside my drawer.

And went to work with a heavy heart....

The "Big White House"...

The "Big White Building"...

My heart skipped a beat when I saw the big white building... The same white building I saw as a little kiddo on a school excursion to Fort Canning Park.

All the memories came flooding back. I remembered being awed at the sight of this bld when I was a kid, and I still feel the same 15 yrs later.

Those days were carefree days and there werent any things to worry abt. Except prob stuff like "how to convince grandpa to let me watch the cartoon channel on a sat morn".

Unlike now, long stressful days at work with incessant deadlines and projects to handle and papers to be written. Just like wat my Ex Boss said on his FB: "Its always amazing that Bosses always seem to generate work at a faster pace than the subordinates cld accomplish"... How apt indeed.

While looking at the building and big open field, I felt some tears gathering in the eyes...

I remembered how Granny made egg sandwiches and put it into a lunchbox for that school excursion. Knowing how much I love eggs, She sneaked an extra egg btw the bread.

No matter how much I yearn for it, there's absolutely no way that I can ever taste an egg sandwich prepared by my Granny.

If anyone ever ask me what and where's the best meal I ate, It wld defn be "eating a dbl egg sandwich on the grassy slope of Fort Canning Park"...

I miss you Grans...

The Longest Wait...

The Longest Wait...

Recently, I have broken a new record. I am talking abt the record for the "longest wait".

Though I received some form of training from my gal pals; such as waiting for them whenever they go to the ladies, waiting for them in the changing room, waiting for them while they make up their mind on which desert to order. But alas, all these cldn’t geared me for the "longest wait" of my life.

The other day, the gang met up to have a belated bday celebration for Jessie, whom just had an Operation on her kneecap and she hobbled along on crutches to meet us.

To prevent her from over straining her legs, we decided to take the elevator instead of clambering up the stairs.

We unwittingly stepped into an elevator that took us almost a millennium to rise a grand total of 4m in height.

The elevator ride was so long that in the same duration of time:

1)    They build the Great Wall of China back in the Ming Dynasty.

2)   Homo erectus  evolved from Homo Habilis.

3)   They finished filming the 11,012 episodes of the soap opera, days of our lives. (caa 060209).

4)   Phileas Fogg circumnavigated around the world thrice in his hot air balloon with Passepartout.

5)   A snail crawled from Alaska to the other end of the world, New Zealand.

6)   Singapore Soccer team clinched the world cup.

7)   Barney the Dinosaur hits puberty, and matured into a more sensible and less irritating dinosaur.

8)   George Lucas  wrapped up filming on his latest Star wars film series, Star Wars Episode XXV: The romance of Jar Jar Blinks with Jabba the Hutt

9)   Tripitaka and his 3 disciples completed their pilgrimage to India and delivered the sutras back to China.

10)  My gal pals visited the ladies for an infinity time, tried out a total of 63 outfits in the changing room and decided on what to order from the menu for the next subsequent 1321 dinner dates.

Why No One wld ever asked me to be their wedding Emcee again...

Why No One wld ever ask me to be their Wedding Emcee again...

In the span of 15 mins, I made 2 boos boos that effectively killed off any dreams I harboured of having a second career as a Wedding Host.

Case #1- During the 2nd bridal march in, I was exclaiming with great gusto "Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys and Girls... Lets put our hands together again and welcome Mr and Mrs LIM!!!".

I realised something was wrong when I saw the family members of Maurice started turning to look at each other with a puzzled look on their face. Finally one of them shouted back "Its LOW, U stupid Moron!". Yes I did one of the most unforgivable crime a wedding host cld ever made and thats to announce the name wrongly, and effectively offending all the LOW clan in the ballroom. (Sorry Maurice, my bad!). Luckily, Maurice's Mum (Aunt Mary) graciously accepted my apology when I looked for her and Aunt Mary was really kind enough to call off the hit she placed on me with the Italian Mafia. Bless her Soul.

The 2nd faux pas I made was during the toast or Yum Seng as its better known in this part of the world. Its a Sporean Chi wedding tradition to propose 3 toasts to the newly weds. It encompassed bellowing at the top of the voice, covering the person sitting next to you with your spit and perhaps perforated ear drums as well.

I had forgotten I was the Emcee, and the Mic in my hand. So there I was shouting and screaming at the top of my lungs that even Vinnie Jones would have been proud of me. And by the end of the 3rd toast, I had lost my voice and was as hoarse as a horse (I know this sentence doesnt make any sense, but it sounded nice dont u think?). Which wasnt that bad bcos everytime I speak or squeak, the guests started laughing and the henious crime that I committed earlier was soon forgotten.

Dearest Maurice and Carolyn,

This is the part where I specially prepared a special speech during your wedding night, and unfortunately or rather fortunately, I didnt get to read it. Anyway here it is...

My 1^st disclaimer is that my speech does not really contain any original materials, so if anyone gets offended or bored, it really got nothing to do with me. 

I love seeing people getting married. Marriage is all about finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Secondly,  just think, if it weren't for marriage, Men would go through life thinking that they had no faults whatsoever while Women would go through life without having anyone to share their horrible burnt cooking. 

There's only one way to have a happy marriage. I will let you guys know what it is when I get married myself.…However based on my own meandering experience, I think I can dispense some gems of advice.

Maurice, here’s some tips from me. The best way to remember a wedding anniversary is to forget it once." Happiness is a good thing in a woman. If a woman is not happy, all hell breaks loose. In order to help a woman keep a state of happiness, one should buy her gifts for various reasons. These reasons include the 1 month anniversary, the 1 year anniversary, Presidents Day, and any day whose date is a multiple of one. These gifts could be in the conventional form of flowers and candy, or for greater happiness, cars and real estate.

The most impt thing in a marriage is to listen. When Carolyn asks u “Honey, shall we go to some exotic place where I have never been before, u mustn’t ever answer “Do you mean the kitchen, my dear?”

Maurice, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: "Yes dear".

Oh, one more thing… do remember to leave the toilet seat down. You have no idea how important that is in a marriage.

And Carolyn, heres 2 tips for you. “A good wife always forgives her husband even when she's in the wrong”. Secondly, after marriage, u will lose possession of the TV remote control.

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right." And last but not least, heres one last advice… Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

And with that, I shall end my longwinded speech and wish the two of you a lifetime of wedded bliss and love always.  

Twenty Old Nine

Twenty Old Nine...

The last day of the yr was spend at Uncle Frankie's place... its kinda weird to call him Uncle Frankie simply bcos all along, Uncle Frankie is known to me as 3rd Uncle. Amongst all the cousins, only my bro and myself called the uncles and aunts by their pecking order in the family...

Most of the Clan were there and its wonderful catching up and basking in the lovely warmth of the extended family after being away and living alone for 4 yrs...

It was fusion night and Mum brought her speciality- Big Juicy Tempura prawns. 

If not for the fact that I was driving, I wld have gulped down the blended peach vodka cocktail concocted by Uncle Frankie's fren, Who joked that its a lady killer drink bcos its sweetness masked the alcohol taste and by the time the lady realised it, its too late... haha

Uncle Frankie's house is Humongous... he bought the piece of land and designed and build the house... 

Its big and airy and I esp love the Island in the kitchen...

I would hate to be a clumsy Humpty and roll down all the 4 long flights of stairs...

The long climb all the way up was worth it  cos the top was simply beautiful. I guess its like life... the climb might be long and hard but as long as u dont give up, u will be rewarded when u overcome all the obstacles in life to reach the top

The Koi Pond with giant kois and a hidden bucket of wriggling worms. It sucks to be one of the worms in the bucket... not bcos u r going to be chow for one of the giant kois. But bcos they are all wriggling and squirming ard all the time, that if u are one the worms, there is absolutely no way that u can doze off... esp when ur neighbours keep wriggling their feet and squashing ur body like in a mosh pit...

Playing with the little adorable cousins. Its amazing at the kind of toys that the toy corporations are coming up with... from baby dolls that poo-ed to goodness know what... 

And you know u have been away for a long time when the little cousins asked coyly: "Who are you?"